How to relate better in a Couple Relationship and how to Future-Proof your Couple Relationship
I am a certified Relate trained counsellor and my approach is embedded in the Relate training. I have also incorporated other approaches through ongoing training to be in the most up to date position to help couples, and also partners who may want sessions on their own at least initially.
This is a brief summary of some of the areas you would be helped to explore in Couple Counselling.
Please also see end of page regarding access to FREE handout on Guidelines for Approaching Couple Counselling and
getting the most out of it.
How to consider your communication styles in your couple relationship and more generally with other people.
How good are you at listening as well as talking?
What are the changes that can happen as a couple move on from the early 'in love' stage. How these changes can cause problems and how to manage them better.
Arguments - why they happen and how couples do them
Sometimes couples argue from the beginning of the relationship. However, more commonly, the arguments increase as couples move on from the early 'romantic' stage. The arguments are often about apparently small things. They usually represent the couples' underlying differences of which they become increasingly aware. In counselling, you would be helped to better understand what the arguments are really about and the meaning and the emotions underneath. Also, how to manage disagreements and conflicts more effectively; how to use constructive conversations to understand and learn about each other.
Couple Time Together
This is an area that often becomes neglected as people move beyond the 'romantic' stage. Having children, work, and other external personal and family responsibilities can all take away from just having time together as a couple.
In Counselling, you would be helped to identify the problem areas and what you both want to change and how to achieve these changes. This would involve agreeing priorities that suit you both and which positively build your couple relationship. This would include how to bring novelty and fun back into your relationship.
Love and Caring
Exploring the different 'languages' partners may use to show love and caring.
Understand the misunderstandings and misinterpretations that can occur between partners.
Understanding the benefits of showing appreciation and expressing compliments to your partner.
Affection, Intimacy, and Sex
Understanding the importance of showing affection physically and otherwise and the benefits of this both mentally and physically.
Understanding why sometimes partners do not want to be affectionate or to have sex. This can occur after a breach in the attachment bond between the couple due to, for example, an affair or some other breach of trust or emotional disconnection.
Some sexual problems may have a physical basis and you would be advised to consult your GP.
Feelings and Emotions
Taking your partner's feelings, ideas, and opinions seriously.
Understanding emotions and their role and functions in life and in close relationships.
Counselling can help you understand emotions and that better understanding can help you to choose your reactions and responses to difficulties in your relationship and more generally.
Affairs and Infidelity
This is one of the most difficult areas for couples to deal with. It is a breach of their attachment bond and can evoke very strong reactions in both partners. It is a complex area that I would help you both to navigate and to heal the hurt and, if you want, build a stronger relationship. I have extensive experience of helping couples who are going through, or have gone through, this experience, and the consequences.
Future-Proofing your Couple Relationship
Having worked on the original issues that brought you to Counselling, you can also be helped to "future-proof" your relationship. This process emphasises the idea of "not just now and the past but also the future" of your relationship.
It would involve how to build and maintain your relationship to allow for flexibility and adaptability. Also, how to strengthen the relationship against future negative events and challenges. Communication is a major area in future-proofing and needs to be continually reviewed.
Free Guidelines for when considering Couple Counselling
I have prepared a FREE brief handout on "Approaching Couple Counselling - What to expect and how to get the most out of it" which you can get a copy of by emailing me through the website. I did this in response to feedback from many couples who said that they had been anxious about coming to counselling and about what to expect. It covers some of the areas that they suggested would have been helpful to know about before they came along. It is available without any commitment and would be helpful to you even if you do not come to me.
If you need more information please do just contact me.